Seventeen Years Ago...

Where were you seventeen years ago? I know where I was - laying in a hospital in Cincinnati waiting for D to be born (of course, we didn't know he was a he at that time - we wanted a surprise.)

I had already been in the hospital for two days - being two weeks overdue. Pitocin was experimental then, and they tried it. Nothing doing, no how. He was comfy and hanging out in the womb. Finally after two days of monitoring and trying, they decided to stop and scheduled a C-Section for the morning of March 2nd. When they decided that, they unplugged all the machines that were monitoring the baby - the heart monitor, the contractions. No more beeps and blips. Everything fell silent and R went home for the night.

I remember how absolutely quiet it was and I called the nurse three times during the night: "Are you sure he's okay? I haven't felt him moving." She reassured me for a bit and then went off.

I had gotten used to hearing his heartbeat. Used to him being close and knowing he was okay. He certainly wasn't going any where soon.

How times have changed! Although D stays at home most days, he is in his own world - as it should be for 17 year olds. I just sometimes miss those moments - feeling the flutter as he kicked against my bladder, hearing that heartbeat. Sometimes I get teary-eyed. And then that huge 17-year-old will come and sit next to me, put his head on my shoulder, and say, "I love you, Mom." And I remember. And I am so thankful for this boy.